The Crazy Bizarre History of Max Headroom: TV Star, Icon, Pitch Man, Pirate ().You know, maybe follow it up with two minutes of real interviews with actual victims of police brutality, followed by a simple, black and white still frame with #BlackLivesMatter and the tiniest logo at the end to show who paid for the commercial. Surely the aim was to get us all talking about Pepsi, then while we’re all ramped up to fever pitch outrage, hit us with a real ad about social justice. Marketing people aren’t this dumb are they? Surely this was part of some bigger, smarter marketing campaign. When I first saw the Pepsi ad, I assumed it was a late April Fools joke. The Oxford English Dictionary defines contrition as ‘the state of feeling remorseful and penitent.’ Do I really need to spell this one out for you? 2.5 minutes of the Pepsi marketing team being slapped, repeatedly, hard, in the face Tackle out, wangs waving in close up macro shots, filling our screen with HD slow mo shots of dicks gently pissing into camera.Ģ. Let’s recreate the Pepsi challenge by getting people to drink a gallon of the stuff and then see how far they can piss with it. ‘member the Pepsi Challenge? Well, let’s play on that nostalgia while calling it out for what it really is - an epic pissing contest between Pepsi and Coke. Pepsi could pass it off as ironic commentary about the declining standards of political debate in our time. It would be like the most epic rickroll of all time. The entire cast of the ad joins in a chorus of ‘ Springtime for Hitler’. The break-dancers break out into goose steps. Why stop there? Everyone in the ad rips off their blue clothes to reveal Stormtrooper uniforms. Imagine if she ripped off her wig and clever pouty disguise to reveal that underneath, she was actually Hitler. In the Pepsi ad, Kendall Jenner rips off her wig and smudges her lipstick to show how she’s not an empty beauty queen but really a confident empowered woman. In this febrile political environment, everything from the President of the USA to the Antifa movement have been compared to Hitler. Well it’s a good start, but frankly I don’t think it goes far enough. How about handing a Pepsi to a few SS officers on Kristallnacht, one wag cleverly declared. While we’re on the subject of the Alt-right, other scenes have been suggested on Twitter where a Pepsi might defuse a sticky situation like facing up to a riot cop.
I’m guessing right now you need all the help you can get. Pepsi marketing team, if you’re listening, you can have that one for free. You could even end the ad on a hard cut to Pepe opening up a can of delicious soft drink and winking at the audience with a VO/super: DR PEPE… SO MISUNDERSTOOD! Seriously, Pepe the Frog would be a better spokesperson. Right now I’m struggling to think how choosing a meme known for its associations with Donald Trump, the KKK, and Nazi death camps could be a worse choice for Pepsi spokesperson than Kendall Jenner, a figure so empty and vacuous that only an equally vacuous brand could ever believe this white woman would be the right casting choice to lead a protest march clearly modelled on Black Lives Matter. Apple’s 1984 commercial helped to define the brand. Some ads are so good they’re still fresh 30 years later.
Good luck getting LeVar Burton involved though. Look out for Captain Picard’s new signature beverage: “Pepsi. A one off episode in which the reunited crew of the Starship Enterprise battle the Coca-Cola entity. So why not play on our nostalgia for better Pepsi ads in years gone by - ‘the choice of a new generation’ with our childhood heroes from Star Trek: the next generation. How about nostalgia? Last year Halifax shat on our childhoods by using Top Cat to sell mortgages. So what other trends can Pepsi mindlessly follow? “Brand purpose” is an advertising trend at the moment. Star trek: The choice of the next generationĪdvertising follows a herd mentality. So without further ado, I’d like to offer Pepsi these alternative ad campaigns…ġ0. Or at least I was, until yesterday, when the Kendall Jenner / Pepsi ad destroyed the reputation of our industry for a (new) generation. I’m actually quite proud of my job as an advertising creative. So goes the old joke about working in advertising being an embarrassment. “Don’t tell my mom I work in advertising! She thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.” Hold my beer! Here’s 10 even worse ideas for Pepsi commercials
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